When I turned forty, one of the things I realized upon reaching the mid-way point of my life, was that I didn’t want the second half of it to be like the first. Saying things were not going well was an understatement, as all looked bleak financially, mentally and physically.
In fact, things had gotten so bad, and my life was so unlike what I had envisioned it would be as a youth, I knew that if I was ever going to turn it around at that late stage, I needed to do something drastic. It was around then that I set about making plans to, if not turn things around, at least delay the inevitable.
The first order of business was to quit my job, which was never going to allow me to earn a good living. It was also breaking down both my mind and body with the mind-numbing and back-breaking daily grind I had sacrificed the previous fifteen years to. I had saved funds for this eventuality over the previous seven or eight years or so, once it became evident that my employer wasn’t going to promote me into sales, where I knew I could have flourished. I eventually tendered my resignation after watching the airplanes slam into the WTC towers on 9/11. I knew this was the right decision to make as, if I was ever going to be able to provide for my kids any kind of career archetype and/or financial support, either in real time or via an inheritance, I would have to find a way to increase my income, extend my working life, or both.
The next order of business was to leave a toxic marriage, which was difficult to bring myself to do, as I would have to leave my kids with their mother. They were not in any physical danger and I knew they were resilient, so I hoped that together, they would and could have each other’s backs in dealing with the psychological aspects of her narcissism and other obvious neuroses. Similarly to the above, I resigned myself to this decision, knowing that if I was ever going to be able to provide them with a model of a mentally and emotionally healthy and stable parent, I would need to set myself up in another home where they could seek refuge from the dysfunction of their mother’s place, even if it was only, sadly, part-time.
In making these changes, I bet on myself being able to ‘fun’ancially succeed; bankrolling my foray into the high risk, high reward world of self-employment. Specifically, I chose commercial real estate purchase, sales, leasing and letting, and its own even higher risk, higher reward, 100% commission, “eat what you kill” income framework that it is renowned for.
Unbeknownst to me then, this was my first and, at that point, only brush with ikigai. Over the next few years, I was actually living it; doing what I was good at and enjoyed, what the world needed and what, for a brief time, I was being paid for.
Unfortunately for me, the world is also full of those whose ikigai is also paired with a not-so-honorable modus operandi. In the real world of real estate deals – that are contractually obligated to pay not-so-insignificant commissions upon services rendered – those that are to pay them, have deep pockets filled with resources set aside specifically to fight to not pay them. A well-known tactic employed is to delay payment until the other side runs out of resources to force it. So much for Aristotle’s thoughts on eudaimonia being the goal or telos of human life via us all exhibiting the highest human good. Sigh.
The above resulted in my having to leave the industry as three consecutive real estate deals – all well-structured – went south for nefarious reasons. Financially broke but not broken, I took advantage of a serendipitous sequence of events, and pivoted into my current career. Although it is by no means my calling, it has ticked off at least three of the four ikigai boxes, and is providing me with the life that allows me to craft this post in my spare time. Keying these words late into the night, I call this my “second shift”.
Will I ever realize what, for many of us, is the elusive state of ikigai and “make more monie” with my mission? Well, it’s certainly something I’m good at – if I do say so myself – and really enjoy. I also think it’s exactly what the First World needs, and just may pay for it. I suppose only time will tell, in real time!
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