When you say “yes” to something you don’t want to do, you almost always wind up hating what you are doing, sometimes even resenting the person who asked you, and spending valuable time and energy getting it done, just so you can get back to what you really should be – and want to be – doing. So stop saying it when you’d really rather not and own that refusal that protects your time and bandwidth.
In addition, most people waste time and energy focusing on and being jealous of what someone else is achieving, rather than spending that valuable time and energy focused on their own success.
Look, I get it – up to a point. If you’re jealous of someone because they have something you want, such as their money, their physique or their success, so be it. I’ve been there. In fact, we’ve all been there. But stop wasting time and use that emotion to your benefit. Study how they achieved it and make the commitment to do the same to get whatever it is you want or get to wherever it is that you want to be. Just say “no”, to wasting in jealous simmering the very time it takes to do likewise, then just do it.
And another thing; the more you see a person talking about achieving something in their future, the less they are likely to do it. Many people that talk this way, that talk about what they’re “gonna do”, do so because they want or need the praise for achieving something without having to actually achieve it. Many people, including ourselves, often do this because getting this praise from others gives them – and us if we are the recipients of it – a hit of dopamine, that chemical that produces a feeling of pleasure, satisfaction and motivation. This isn’t the worst thing, but if you are really going to be successful, remember that it can negatively affect the drive to succeed because it temporarily satiates us. It gives us a feeling of accomplishment somewhat, despite not having done anything but talk.
Better you put yourself to work, and don’t stop until your results can do the talking for you. You can be successful simply by doing what very few are willing to do; getting started. Finding success, however you define it, is never easy, nor should it be. If it were easy, anyone could achieve it without real effort. Further to this, when looking back on successful achievements, many people say that they wish they had started working towards their goals sooner as their achievement was not nearly as difficult to accomplish as they had initially thought. And just when you think this couldn’t get better, another thing they also say is that the rewards of their achievement are even greater than they expected!
I never used to like being “success adjacent”, and have since discovered this feeling of envy was actually an evolutionary condition we experience. It enables us to evaluate our position in the competition for resources; determine where we stand, so to speak, and how to adjust. We’re apparently most envious of those who are similar to us, which explains the natural feeling of envy many of us have at our friends’ success. This is why those close to us may “caution” us against our ambitious pursuits, using their “concern” over our well-being as justification. Of course, it is worth pointing out that some of them may very well be well-meaning family or friends, as opposed to a dysfunctional sibling, parent or frenemy.
Consider the life of someone afraid of the work it takes to learn how to ride a bike or swim, or who have been advised – by well-intentioned others or otherwise – to not risk falling off their bike or venturing into or onto the water. Imagine the rewards that these people are missing out on, either as children or adults. I cannot think of anything good coming from avoiding challenges and absolutely nothing bad in mastering them, can you?
Disclaimer: The information contained herein should not be construed or considered professional advice. Nonetheless, thanks for reading! If it resonates, there’s “plenty more where that came from” on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube ‘n’ Twitter.